Keeping in mind that Outlook's pst file is really a single user database, only one 
user can be accessing the database at any given time.  If you were trying to add 
the wife's outlook.pst folder to your Outlook while here user was logged on, that 
could be the explanation for why it could not be accessed.

An alternative that might work going forward is to set both Outllooks to keep a copy 
of messages on the server.  The idea being that when your Outlook gets the messages 
they are just copied to your pst, and then when the wife logs onto the same account 
on the mail server with her Outlook maybe her Outlook will consider the email your 
already downloaded as "new" to hers and also download them.

To add messages that have been delivered to hers that you want in yours (and vice 
versa), copy her pst to somewhere within your Docs, then import that pst's messages 
using your Outlook's import messages function, then delete the copied pst.

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